I am still in shock I’m in a relationship.
If u been following me from day 1 or if u kno me in real life you kno…
I’m that bitch that don’t trust no mother fucking man. The one on some hurt him before he hurt me shit…
This why I kno some may be shocked….
This the first time I don’t feel like that and don’t see my self ever feeling like that.
I won’t say I feel 100% secure…
That’s a process for me.
But this is 100% real.
And I sincerely feel like it don’t get no better…
Is he perfect? No. Does he annoy the shit outa me sometimes? Fuck yes.
But I can sincerely say I feel like he is perfect for me.
That is all.
I want to learn to just live it. Full of passion and possibly even mistakes.
But I want to never stop taking time to reflect on my own growth and working on my development as a person spiritually, mentally, emotionally in my personal and career life.
Is this possible?
Can I learn to balance to two out better?
Or is this as good as it gets?
When I stop to think about my life. I have mixed feelings.
My past is a book that hopefully I can tell one day cuz it was fucking hectic. I have many happy memories but also horrible ones that I avoid thinking about cuz well…. Fuck!
My present is a balance of amazing goodness because its full of love and I actually think I breath in and exhale love as much as I do air. That makes me happy and keeps me alive. Literally. But on the other hand it’s full of barriers and frustration cuz poverty is not fun… Regardless of how well I manage money and that piece of paper called a degree… My family on average don’t have much and that degree ain’t helping much with that. So between money problems and love their are a few other things that make this a roller coaster ride for me…..
I am confident that I will get everything I want in life some days and others I’m a ball of mess worrying about every detail of the future…
Is this just how life is?
A roller coaster ride of highs and lows?
I will never apologize for being me, but I will apologize for the times that I am not.
Someone actually gets feelings for me and doesn't fuck me over.